DARK SOULS II – The Crown of the Sunken King

Dark Souls II

Does anybody remember expansion packs? Oblivion’s “Shivering isles” comes to mind. A whole new slice of game was standard fare for $15, back in the day, complete with new places to explore, lore to discover and enemies to best. Does anyone remember DLC from the same era? Motherfucking horse armour, a $2.50 packs which included (in its entirety) fucking armour for your fucking horse. It didn’t do a single god-damn thing, including armour your horse. It looked like it did, but as any LARPer will tell you, “Put down the…

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DARK SOULS 2

Dark Souls II

If you’re reading this because you (like millions of people) await the glorious wisdom I hand down from my solid gold highchair, you should know this: I wrote this review in a quick booze-and-ink break from playing Dark Souls II, and as soon as I’m done I intend to plunge right back into that bastard like a poisoned dart into a human face. Or the teeth of a giant chest-mimic bastard into a human face. Or an axe into the back of the head of a blonde warrior-woman, just a…

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