RED SONJA

red sonja

“I do not need the help of any man,” said the heroine who is always in need of constant help from men. It is hard to revisit the 1985 sword and sorcery film Red Sonja with any sort of freshness. The movie, historically, has been comically criticized for decades and stands as an example of Hollywood´s eagerness to cash in on previous genre successes. There is even a quote from the films “star,” Arnold Schwarzenegger, about Red Sonja being the worst film he has done and is now used as…

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OMNIUM GATHERUM – Beyond

Yet another band who I sort of mumble their name whenever I speak or talk to others about. I may do internet searches by just pounding out “omnomnomnom gatherum” and waiting for the autocorrect to lead me in the right direction. We are back after some frightful excursions to Lightning Swords of Death’s satanic dungeon and Paysage D’Hiver’s hunting cabin next to the outer realm of non-being. Once again we are under red skies in the majestic glens of melodic death. A place where golden mountains shimmer like ocean waves…

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FIRE AND ICE

Fire and Ice

I do not think I did, but may have squealed. I can’t be sure. I tried to subdue my excitement when replying to Brendan’s latest email asking me if I wanted to start reviewing movies. “Do not show all of your cards at once,” I told myself. “Try to stave your excitement or there will be no mystery.” Along with heavy metal, forgotten surf rock, and model ships in bottles, fantasy holds a large part of my interests hostage. If you would like a refinement of that category, my interests…

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DARKTHRONE – The Underground Resistance

DARKTHRONE - The Underground Resistance (2013)

Darkthrone’s two decade war against the mainstream continues with “The Underground Resistance” and this insurrection shows no signs of stopping.. Rather, they launch this assault with renewed vigor and purpose, further honing the hybrid sound that they have been exploring since the latter half of the previous decade. The arsenal this time around comprises six cuts of meat-and-potatoes Metal weaponry. These sonic swords were forged by veteran craftsman and are swung with a comparable amount of skill (albeit less care). And while 2010’s “Circle the Wagons” oscillated awkwardly between Fenriz’s…

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FINNTROLL – Blodsvept (2013)

By starting out this review saying the new Finntroll made my wife laugh sounds terrible. It is also important to for critical evaluation. Well, at least I think it is. It is true the opening track of Blodsvept possesses audio of monstrous rumblings and inhuman gurgles. The sound is so utterly cinematic and predictable, that the opening crash of the album’s title track was enough to send my wife into fits of laughter. I might add she loves Finntroll and owns every record since 1999’s Midnattens Widunder. Despite adoration and…

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