MR. FASTFINGER – Stringweaver

Wait. Why am I here? Hello? Hey, is this because I did a review on Altar of Plagues. Was that too hip for you guys behind the two way mirror? I’m sorry alright. What is this? Where am I? What does this pamphlet mean about rehabilitation through shred guitar? What is that funny smell? Why am I getting sleepy? Why is the floor above me? Help! The world of virtuoso guitar based music is a funny one. The music is both performance and exposition based on exercises to showcase talent.…

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ALTAR OF PLAGUES – Teethed Glory And Injury

Altar Of Plagues - Teethed Glory And Injury (2013)

Woah, this is hip. When did everything become so aware and cool? Just like with Portal and Paysage D’Hiver, I am cashing in a stretch ticket and trying to get atmospheric black metal into the realm of epic metal. Come on, just squeeze. I do not think I would have pushed for Altar of Plagues third album so much if it were not for the album being absolutely stunning. No, seriously, it is really good and quite cinematic. You just have to know a few things before we begin. Altar…

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The Beastmaster (1982)

Stay beast, I was born in the belly of a cow, so I am kin to you. Oh man is it too late to take back the implication that Red Sonja was the worst Sword and Sorcery film of the 1980s? Maybe. Maybe not. The Beastmaster, the film, was released the same year as Conan and was a part of the first wave of fantasy films to explode in the 1980´s. The film would see mild success followed by continual replay on late night cable. In fact, this film is…

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Amorphis. Alright. It is sort of strange reviewing a new record from a band whose older material lives in such legacy. 1994’s Tales of a Thousand Lakes is cited as a pioneering example of melodic death. Then there is everything else the band did. Since Amorphis has been consistently releasing material since the early 90’s it is difficult to sum up their narrative in a few sentences. One way to breakup the band’s history is to mark 2006 as an end and beginning with the release of Eclipse. It is…

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