CHILD OF LIGHT

child of light

Child of light is a new game by Ubi A childish quest all written in verse But soon you’ll find it gets boring Your interest carried away in a hearse. The gameplay is bland; uninspiring, It’s childish, which I guess is the crux But I can’t enjoy, or rank highly Something damnably dim and so fucked. Poetry might be pretty to look on But this game’s writer’s no laureate-smith The rhymes are often simple or tortured And often don’t work well, like thith. All in all it’s too often boring…

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GODZILLA (2014)

godzilla 2014

YES! There is nothing that gets me more excited than gigantic monsters throwing each other into buildings while shooting radioactive beams in each others face. Since the early 1950’s, the Japanese Kaiju industry has been a source of entertainment using the absurdity of colossal monsters fighting over miniature cities as an allegory to nuclear terror. Godzilla, and the host of monsters from Toho Co., have been the center of both tributes and really terrible reboots. Spoiler warning: I will be discussing the new Godzilla film and important plot details. You…

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AGALLOCH – The Serpent & the Sphere

If you’ve heard of Agalloch, you’ll probably have mixed feelings regarding the news of a new album. While they produced a brilliant collection of albums in the early 2000s (and how fucking weird is it that that’s a time period I can reference?) their most recent offering, “Faustian Echoes”, was a 21 minute EP That skimmed right over epic and into unwieldy, like a dragon that’s been feasting on misled dwarves so long he can’t keep the mithril vests down long enough to breath fire. No history of impressive power…

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BOUND BY FLAME

Bound By flame (2014)

Does anyone remember “Of Orcs and Men”? It was, aside from being a totally mediocre game from small-time games company “Spiders”, one of my earliest and most mediocre reviews. It’s also a game I swore to forget, hence my beginning this review with a question. I think it was probably a poorly-written slipshod effort whose flighty moments of interest were overtaken in an arid, un-inspired badland by the twin demons of poor writing and inconsistent design. That could, of course, be because that’s what their latest game is like, and…

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Die Nibelungen: Siegfried

Die Nibelungen

Fantasy filmmaking has had various iterations through the decades. I have spent a considerable amount of time with the films of the 1980’s due to this style reaching its most mainstream success during that time. Fantasy film, however, can be found in almost any decade of cinematic history including its early period. Furthermore, the word “fantasy” could have meant something somewhat different in 1924 as oppose to what it means now in 2014. It is sometimes interesting, and possibly even fascinating, to travel back to the primordial beginnings of what…

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SABATON – Heroes

For the longest time Sabaton was always the power metal band who sang about battle. This isn’t a stretch for most power metal, yet this Swedish act decided to step out of fantasy and into romanticized modern history. Sabaton was always the band whose rousing anthems memorialized famous battles and skirmishes in the World Wars. They were the History Channel of metal when that joke used to make sense. Heroes is Sabaton’s seventh record and is a culmination of a very busy 10 years. Since the mid 00’s this band…

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DARK SOULS 2

Dark Souls II

If you’re reading this because you (like millions of people) await the glorious wisdom I hand down from my solid gold highchair, you should know this: I wrote this review in a quick booze-and-ink break from playing Dark Souls II, and as soon as I’m done I intend to plunge right back into that bastard like a poisoned dart into a human face. Or the teeth of a giant chest-mimic bastard into a human face. Or an axe into the back of the head of a blonde warrior-woman, just a…

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EPIDEMIA – Treasure of Enya [Эпидемия – Сокровище Энии]

Name: Эпидемия. Genre: Power Metal. Location: Moscow. Lyrical Themes: Fantasy, Tolkien, Elves. Alright, this is amazing. Review over. I would be lying if Эпидемия’s (Epidemiya/Epidemia) seventh full length did not cause a silent gasp of excitement. Not only does the cover depict the plight of ice dwarves with some type of treasure but I have no idea what any of it means. An obsession with fantasy in other countries is charming because it speaks to a sense of global geekery that transcends language barriers. While folklore and mythology are certainly…

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TROY (2004)

Troy

I know what you are thinking, “Why in the world would you review Troy when there are so many other movies? I mean, come on.” It is true. Compared to fantasy films of the 1980’s, or even films of the same time, Troy has not had the time to marinate in the cultural crock pot. While my previous metaphor of a crock pot was silly and absurd the fact remains that Troy may be too new to have any real importance. In fact, the film’s 10th anniversary is approaching so…

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FRANK FRAZETTA FANTASY ILLUSTRATED #1

fantasy illustrated 1

Frank Frazetta was born in 1928 and left this world in 2010. He was survived by a career and legacy in fantasy illustration and painting. His renderings of heroes like Conan the Barbarian became a cultural image of fantasy we still retain today. This article could be about the work of Frazetta and his monumental impact on the realm of fantasy art. Unfortunately, it is not. Rather this article is about his magazine, which was released in the late 90’s. Adorned with his full name, The Frank Frazetta Fantasy Illustrated…

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